Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Types of Girls



Types of Girls ( Computer Humor )


CD-ROM GIRLS

She is always faster and faster.

***********

EMAIL GIRLS

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense . ***********

HARD DISK GIRLS

She remembers everything, FOREVER

***********

INTERNET GIRLS

Difficult to access

***********

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS

She make horrible thing look beautiful

***********

SCREENSAVER GIRLS

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

***********

RAM GIRLS

She forget about you, the moment turn her off

***********

WINDOW GIRLS

Everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

***********

VIRUS GIRLS

Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will lose everything.. .

***********

SERVER GIRLS

Always busy when you need her.

Men's Logic




The Problem was who should get custody of the child.


The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.


The child Should be in my custody."


The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"


The man sat for a while contemplating. ..then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out...


Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Kiss Me Unlucky day

A very Beautiful woman was walking on the roof of a building and she fell down.

On her way falling down, an American man catches herShe says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life; I'll do ANYTHING for you...

The man says: 'Okay then,kiss me.

'She says: 'You PIG!! NEVER!!'So he says:'FINE!' and he drops her down....

So she's falling and screaming... Suddenly a German man catches her in the air from his balcony

She says:'Oh thank you, you saved me;

I'll do anything that you ask...'The guy says: 'Fraulein, kiss me.'

She replies: 'Oh you nasty pig!!! NEVER!'

So the man says: 'Fine!!!' and he also drops her down again.

She's falling and thinking that it was better if she kissed one of those men and now she's going to die.

Suddenly, a man catches the woman from his balcony,She says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life, I'll kiss you!!'

The man replies: 'Astaghfar Allah' and he drops her!!!!!!!!*

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Honesty



A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"



"Of course. What may I do for you?"



"Well, I bought an expensive! Electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."



When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"



"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."



The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"



"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."



Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father - - Next! "

A wonderful story

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them.

She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry.

Please come in and have something to eat."

" Is the man of the house home?", they asked. "No", she replied.
"He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in" " We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love."

Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said.

Her husband was overjoyed.

"How n ice!!", he said.

"Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth.

Let him come and fill our home with wealth!" His wife disagreed.

"My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house.

She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest .

" The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house.

The other 2 also got up and followed him.

Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.

Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success !!!!!!"

Re-Marry


WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do.
"WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again.
"WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.
"WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "
WIFE: -- silence --HUSBAND: "sh*t."

LinkWithin Variety

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

مصر اليوم

موقع و دليل موجز مصر